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zhen
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Friday, July 30
finally service learning is over. hahaha. on one hand i am glad that it is over cos it took up so much of my time. but then when i saw all the smiling faces of those kids there it warms my heart. how can i say it? they r liddat they dun understand instructions they r wild but they r friendy. ya the first show was nuts. nuts like it was a total fluck. but then char was damn funny!!!! jus seeing her in her bunny coustume with her dman cute poses i also shuang. hhaha we did not anticipate the respones from the children for the first show. they dun understand instructions and keep on wondering ard the stage. we had to scarp of much of the performance becs of it. then it was lunch in republic poly. was on cute guy alert but then dun really see much too. got more chio girls than cute guys...
then we had to brainstorm abt how to improvise to suit the situation. decided to change this change tt...but then it is hard for me to tell all here. the memories will stay with me in my heart. but then our part of the show was a success! the bunny was so well recievied with the kids. char have not even went down to stairs to go down stage when the kids already crowded at the foot of the stairs. she was jus the centre attraction. hotter than sarah manX. hahahha inside joke...so we had the chicken dance...another success!!! the we got see toh to perform too to say a few lines...finally see a fun and cute side of her...hahhahahaha
ya abt reflections. was so tired be4 the reflection time sleeping for every lesson till we come to the reflection part.seems like i have been jus saving my energy for the finale...hahah reflections. okok back to the reflections. they r really living in a world of their own with no cares and worries in their lives. i rmb see toh sayign that they do not enjoy wat we have now and miss out on alot of thisg which we take for granted such as simple thinsg like eating swallowing and wearing clothes. yes they dun understand and dun go thur life as we do in sch with frens. but their simple minds has shielded them from the evils in life. they lead the most carefree lives i have ever seen. taking joy in the simple things in life such as jus enjoying a bunny act when we the students of the accepted IQ and mature age of 17 seem to think is stupid. maybe it is their minds but then i think we can really take away a lesson in this whole journey. enjoy everything we have even it is the smallest.
another thing to top it off...even the ct of s12 the other class we were doing with said we have done much better than them. hahah i also think so... not to say tt their class is bad but then our bunny rocks!!!
ya i was supposed to meet him on thur after service learning. but he din contact i din bother...jus dun feel like going out with him so forget it.
went out with sarah char and hashim to eat at mac then watched ella enchanted...hahah me and char have the same sense of sadism...hahhaha was laughin my way thur the show not tt the show is v funny but then me char and srah was entertaining each other with stupid cracks from the movie. those cheesy lines....hahhaha
-maybe wat this world needs is jus abit of love around here. seeing all those children waving at us calling us jie jie or kor kor really warms the hearts of everyone there-
zhen slammed at 21:40
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Monday, July 26
i got a damn pimple on my nose bridge!!!! ok actually, i got two!!! one burst cos i din realised it and was still wearing my specs. then the imflamed stuff spread onto the areas beside the pimple and guess wat?? the areas ard it is v sensitive now....crap think i jus put a plaster on it and go to sch...guess i will jus be the laughing stock of the class for one day....hopefully only one day..hahaha
becos of my pimple i deicded to take off my specs on my journey home on the bus. woah...with all the lights and the blured vision whcih i have never seen be4 the world seems so nice..so beautiful and serene. it is like i dun see any buildings in the midst. all i see is a row of shining round balls of light risign into the dark sky. for those whu fortunately dun have such bad short sightedness as me..800 to 900 degrees per side, i think u will never realise wat i mean, all u see is the flat blocks of concrete and the fixed rows of light which line the roads when cars whiz by.
there is beauty in the world and it is worth seeking.
zhen slammed at 22:22
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Tuesday, July 20
beav fren, whu does not know me, described me as "a twenty first century independent woman". haha somehow or rather it makes me feel gd abt myself. i am independent and confident being single. but i am sayign tt i am not going to give myself the chance of being in love. i am jus going to give myself the choice of it and not going to be forced into it.
have decided to give him and myself a chance. i asked but he is not free so not really my fault. i jus dun wan him to think tt i am leading him on or giving a wrong impression.
maybe i am really thinking too much. do i really have the charm and 'cuteness' in some ppl way's of phrasing it to attract a guy? hahaha...after my sec sch life i pretty much resigned to my fate. unless i really find one which i really like or else jus wait. pretty dumb and contradicting har?
sch was ok lah. these few days since the last time i blogged is mainly been taken up by pw, service learning, trg, and of cos pool. hahha... wat's new manX? i am a certified pool addict.
life goal no 1: be more sensitive to other ppl's feelings
zhen slammed at 23:30
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Saturday, July 17
these few days i have jus been existing in this world. i mean wat's new? nth. wake up, go to sch, get back some results or simply waste time there, then waste some time coming back home cos i dun wan to come home, go online, then sleep. juss it can summarise my days for u.
wat the hell am i doing here? trying to make u think i lead a uneventful life these few days. guess it is not really worth the time for u to read this entry. hahahaha..wadever i am doing le lah...
i envy those ppl whu have the sec sch classmates in the same jc as them. all those sm gatherings and stuff, the friendship within themselves differeniate themselves from the friendship made purely in sa.
the main thing on my mind nowadays i think is him. dun wan to tell him straight to the face. not that he is doing much either. guess i am really thinking too much. really.
home is another matter altogether. i am truly alone at home.
zhen slammed at 23:45
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Wednesday, July 14
i think i am a useless sister
we scream at each other very day
we quarrel everyday
i dun wan to come home
i screwed my life up
zhen slammed at 20:09
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Sunday, July 11
dun bother me
leave me alone
zhen slammed at 20:47
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i am askign ppl readign this to tell me abt their worst encounter with ppl of the opposite sex be it weird ones, guys whu wan sex favours, or jus funny encounters...
like abit bad of me hor... but this is ME
zhen slammed at 01:50
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i jsu finished watching a vcd that my sis lend home, Butterfly Lovers. for those whu dun have a clue of wat the show is abt let me fill u in...on second hand i am too lazy to do so..hahah so wadever...
love at first sight requires courage. dunno y it jus popped into my mind. and coem to think of it it is pretty true. u dun even know the person and u r predcting the future with the other half. u need courage to approach the person. then love itself is nto sustainable on the emotion of affection for each other alone. it requires alot more things like determination, courage and loads more. for a person like me whu is still a newbie in thsi kind of things, my views abt it r considered superifical. no matter how deep i think into this topic of love i can only scratch the surface. can't say i wan to be left on the shelf, but with love comes hate and all the other negative emtions. wadever...i dunno wat the hell i am typign now..hahah x:
zhen slammed at 01:11
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Friday, July 9
today we had college day in sch..the j1s had carnival so ok..carnival..blown the balloons throw the darts..see ppl act as the wild cowboys in thw wild wild west...hitting each other with pillows...and the stupid white bear...ya..seems pretty it...quite fun overall lah..nthing much...
dunno wat to write today lah..jus writing for writing sake...wadever...
zhen slammed at 23:06
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Tuesday, July 6
it was only on damn freaking plate of chicken cutlet!!!f*** cos of it i got constipation. sometimes i really think is my body. if i dun drink enough water then constipation also. if i eat too much meat then constipation. wadever lah..constipation, to me, is like the one of the worst thing which can happen to me. ppl say yr health condition or state sometimes is likda of similar to yr parents. so my dad, the always healthy person but when the virus comes to him it will be a full blown one. it can result in him lyign in bed for one or even two days. my mum is the problematic one. she used to suffer from gastric problems. it seems like she cannot eat food tt r too oily, too salty, too sugar..ya lah all the too much in any kind of thing. her gastric cases used to be be quite frequent, like once a wk which can result in her havign no strength at all, lying in bed and vomiting.but sicne she started taking up tai ji lesson its frequency have decreased greatly. but i think it has left an deep impression on me. i have seen wat she has gone thur those days when her gastric pains will consume her and sapping all her energy, and it could even happen like once in 2 days or more...then i made myself promise not to let this kind of things happen to me i wan to lead a healthy life and accomplish things with my life, not to allow sickness to engulf my life. but for ppl whu r closer to me will notice tt i have been havign headaches and gastric pains quite often these few days. i admit i have been skippign meals. i am not tryign to lose weight. i jus simply sleep past my meal times and when i wake up i dun have the appetite to eat. i have heard of ppl sayign tt maybe u dun feel the effects of the small things u do now but u will feel it in the future. i sure hope not. at least i damn well is trying to make them not happen.
hahaha today i came to sch at 750 amd din see any of our class ppl so i joined my snr whu is in the arts fac. we started talkign abt my common test and her block test. i was telling her how i will fail both my sciences. then she told her abt wat happened to her last yr for her common test. she got 3 Os which is like from 41-50 marks and ask e whther i can beat or match tt..believe me i think i can..
i think i really dunno how to delegate tasks. either tt or i jus am shoulderign too much things on myself. ok, i shall not talk abt table tennis cos till now there is not much things to be done regardign tt yet. i dun mind the responsiblities which comes with everything tt needs to be done, but i must really learn to let other ppl do some things. i guess it has never crossed my mind till manling told me today. still have things to learn along the way.
i guess ppl generally agree that everyoen wears a mask to every single occasion. lets say sch, soem ppl dun wan to show wat they r truly feeling. so they remain quiet in sch or jus laugh along or allow ppl to laugh at themselves to conceal the hurt tt they feel. btu wat is under the mask? does the person himself know and understand the true person under all the layers of plastic used?do they really noe wat make him tick? makes him flare up in ager which can burn away all the masks used showing him true self? i dun deny tt ppl used masks to prevent themselves get hurt. i have seen a fren whu laid her heart on the line, hoping tt the guy will see it and appreciate it, only to find it being trampled upon without a backwards glance. like telling secrets to frens, u let yr fren into u, lettign them noe another part of u which other ppl dun, and if they betray u, the hurt u feel is really unable to be describe. u start to question yrself, y u r so stupid to allow this person to get close to u and allow yrself to trust. the world lacks trust. only in times of distrust will ppl conceal themselves. the world lacks love. the world lacks pain so as to ensure greater ones get thur without leavign more than a healable scar on our hearts, it lacks pain as only thur pain will we be able to understand ourselves better in a new dimension.
i challenge everyone to find out whu their true self really is. take risks at time, the pain maybe imminent but the joy in knowing tt u have made the connection with another person is immense...
zhen slammed at 23:30
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Monday, July 5
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he
failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave.
She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third-grade."
Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree.
Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Johnny, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."
Ms Brooks: What starts with a C and ends with a T is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Johnny: Coconut
Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
But Johnny was taking charge.
Johnny: Bubblegum
Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and
a dog does on three legs?
Johnny: Shake hands
Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do.
Johnny: Tent
Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Johnny: Wedding Ring
Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Johnny: Nose
Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Johnny: Arrow
Ms Brooks: What word starts with andF' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?
Johnny: Fire truck
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
zhen slammed at 03:05
***
Sunday, July 4
damn tired now...came home from a bday celebration with old frens then went to play pool with them then went to 7-11 to buy vodka to drink...damn funny lah first we surprised our teacher buy turning up then had dinner tog. really made me miss those times where we got tog every single sat and jus simply enjoying the friendship and the suaning of each other...hahha then went to je to play pool...i guess i am lucky won quite a number of games..then decided to leave cos already like 10 odd le. went out then hy suggested to go buy vodka so we like ok lor go...went there i bought a bacardi lime then let the ppl at 7 11 to open for us...went ard looking for a place to drink it cos it was raining be4 then all the seats in the open r wet...then decided to go up to the second floor of this quite deserted building to drink...like illegal gathering..hahhaha damn funny lah...
truly enjoyed myself these few days...yaya common test r over i dun wan to think abt them now...thurs went out with K after the darn phy paper to buy the bday present then fri went out with jie ru to shop then walk ard to wait for her class and my class ppl to finish their chinese paper...then jus walk then also lazy to do try clothes..have to unbutton the blouse and the tie then wear back...lazy and boring...then sarah and co came then we wound up watchign the 4pm show instead of the planned 245 show..sat in kfc and started doing some dumb competition thingy based one spiderman two..make as many 5 characters words or more from the words spiderman two...hahah we managed to come up with think more than 60 and be4 we know it it is almost time for the show..went in to watch...okok lor plot lame...action ok...but damn tired lah...
tmr have to go to kacc to train then have to go check out the prices for the stuff requried for college day which is on fri...so damn fast lah...then awhile more will have service learning..then have sa table tennis open then end of aug the j2s will have their prelims liao...then our promos...damn fast..time flies..
zhen slammed at 00:11
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Thursday, July 1
trying to study for phy lah...nothing is going in lah...waiting to watch the portugal and holland match...dunno whu will win lah...both teams rock...hahaha but i think port should win lah...nvm nvm phy really is v bad lah i really am going to fail it le...
bored boring sian sianed
okok i should talk abt more positive things. today after the maths exam we have to meet our table tennis teacher in charge...then mr lim told us abt the committee for next yr. wonders wonders i was made the capt. actually i really din expect to be made capt cos it is like the capt must at least have some decent skills and be like one of the better players there. but till this v day and i think even onwards i will still be the weakest among the 5 of us whu were ,tactically speaking,in the team in the first 3 mths. u might think y does the capt have to be one of the better players...cos it is like the capt upholds the sch's image and if i go out there and lost v pathetically it will only throw the face of the sch out of the window..i dun command the authority there in the court...i have voiced it out to mr lim on the spot..but he say wat he has observed me for a long time and think i am capable and is able to perform the duties. cannot push it to other ppl i mean he already state it tt clearly so all i can do is to perform everything to the best of my capablities...no promises but wat i can do regarding my skills is jus to train more try my best to improve...the first task in a way i have to do is to bond the team tog the whole team those in the first 3 mths and those whu has joined us..we r a team..we will be a team...suddenly i think the responsiblities on me is quite great...but i will try my best!!!pls help to guide me along the way...
with great powers comes great responsibilites...
the only thing i learned from spiderman 1 the movie
zhen slammed at 01:20
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