me

name zhen

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make myself study very hard?? haha..

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Saturday, August 14

get yr fact right be4 telling the whole damn sch abt the wrong things. we r already not given much credit for wat we have done on tt day except from our teachers whu r ther on tt day and both our classes. doesnt mean tt u got a fren from the sch automatically given u the impression that u know the whole story inside out. pls understand how we feel. we have given our best. look at the faces of the children tt day. they were all having smiles from ear to ear. yes i dun really like kids but i dun mind seeing them happy and know tt it is US whu put tt smile on their faces. u have totally no right to jus wipe away wat we have done on tt day with yr false facts. NO RIGHT. frankly i was shocked when u came up with such accusations. then i got pissed. now i think even if i wan to clear up with u abt wat exactly happened tt day so wat? it is nto as if u will have a public apology for us. but i cannot stand to jus have this to jus rest liddat. maybe i should listen to wat see toh said. as long as u know tt u have put in yr best and tt u r not in the wrong, u do not need to care abt how other ppl think. but i feel let down. i am nt as apt in expressign myself in words. guess only ppl from my class or those whu r directly involved in the performance will understand how i feel.

today i had my meet the tutor session. not exactly one of the nicest things i wan to go thur again. for like 4 yrs i have not been said to be talkative by my teachers to my parents in rv. primary cos i avoid the meeting of these 2 parties in rv. it was a common term used to descibe me in pri sch. watver. i see i have not changed much from pri sch. still decribed as talkative, easily distracted, and have a short concentration span. guess i jus got worse and i am said to not prepare for my tutorial lessons, in short have not done my tutorials. haha really makes me wonder wat the hell am i doing with my short life. after avoiding it for 4 yrs now i have to face it again. from my teachers comments they said i got the potential to excell if i put in the effort. wth lah i have been having this stupid comment for eons yrs since god knows when. am i really nto making the effort or am i trying to bluff myself that i am making the effort?

i also realised how much my parents and i have changed in matters of studies. i rmb the times when i used to get serious scoldings or even beating from my parents for my bad results. now or rather this mornign when i shown my progess report to my mum telling ehr i din pass any subjects she jus asked me to study harder and tt the future is only controlled by me and me alone. teachers also recognise the fact tt we r past the age where scoldings and stuff does nto have much of an impact on us hence turning to reasoning instead. yes i will work if i wan it to. but hope my dad does not over react to my poor results.

i din noe hwo bad an impression i was making of myself onto the teacher. (think this sentence sounds abit funny ..haha)i mean i noe i tend to talk during lessons but then...nvm nvm. shall nto bother myself much with the talking part and more of the paying attention and not get distracted part. mrs leow kept on repeating to me tt i must be 'zi1 ai1'. for those whu dun get wat this means it jus mean to love yrself. to love yrself is to give the best to yrself. hence should study right. ya studying how to make reflections for the day online....hahahha

during the session with mr caleb lee i was supposed to come up with plans to improve my results. so i said i will stay back in sch and study on tues and thurs, incclude consultations with teachers to clear up my doubts for subjects namely phy..haha. i am also amde to come up with the target grades with i hope to achieve for my subjects at promos. c for maths( i tot i was out of my mind) d or e for both sciences.sounds achievable. sounds...was chattign with jie ru jus now and i realised i was actually talking to her durign the first 3 mths of tryign to take chem s paper next yr. wat bullshit was i uttering then?i underestimated junior college life.

shall now find the courage to go and face those topics which i dun understand and strive on to study the new topics taught. smth tt see toh said which stuck in my mind.




zhen slammed at 00:30

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