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zhen
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Sunday, October 31
i am bored. so entertain me and read it lah.
1.) first grade teacher's name: i have abd memory
2.) last word you said: wadever
3.) last song you sang: i have bad memory
4.) last thing you laughed at: jus now at how a jerk my dad is
5.)last time you cried:cant be bothered to think
6.) what color socks are you wearing: not wearing socks now
7.) what's under your bed?: monsters
8.) what time did you wake up today: 11
9.) line from the last thing you wrote to someone: cant be bothered
PRESENT:
1.) current hair: having a agenda of their won
2.) current clothes: sa openhse t and rv shorts
3.) current jewelry: nth
4.) current annoyance: parents
5.) current smell: rain
6.) current longing:cheese cake
7.) current desktop picture: come indecently cute thing which my sis put
8.) current worry: money
9.) current favorite article of clothing: haven find. sports bra and underwear? hahah
10.) do you currently like someone:no
FUTURE:
1.) what is your career going to be: psychologist
2.) if you could live anywhere in the world, where: europe
3.) how many kids do you want: dun intend to haev any at the current moment
4.) what kind of car will you drive: jeep
FAVORITES:
1.) favorite physical feature on a girl: the whole package
2.) favorite physical feature on a guy: the whole package
3.) one person you wish was here right now:no one (wat abt food?)
4.) favorite author: dun really have a favourite one
5.) favorite coffee: haven find
6.) favorite smell: rain
7.) favorite way to waste time: being alone and doing thiings alone
.) favorite season: autumn
9.) favorite color: anything dark
10.) favorite time of day: night
FASHION:
1.) how many coats and jackets do you own: ermmm 1 windbreaker
3.) favorite pants color: faded blue
4.) most expensive item of clothing: a damn gross skirt which my mum made me buy
25.) most treasured: my pants
6.) gold or silver: frosted silver
YOUR FRIENDS:
1.) do your friends know you: dun think so
2.) what do they tend to be like: vastly different
3.) can you count on them: some
4.) can they count on you: sure
5.) do you find it hard to trust people: can u trust me?
LASTS:
1.) last book you read: honour bound by sandra brown
2.) last movie you watched: yesterday once more
3.) last movie you saw in theaters: yesterday once more
4.) last show you watched on tv:the poloaris star(which my dad made me turn off the tv for no damn reason)
5.) last song you heard: dunno
6.) last thing you had to drink:water
7.) last thing you ate: some dannish biscuits
8.) last time you showered:afternoon
9.) last time you smiled: i dunno. hopefully i smiled jsu now at pool with them
11.) last person you hugged: seriously i dun rmb hugging anyone
12.) last person you danced with: michelle during ermm orientation 1?
13.) last person you talked to online: kumar
14.) last person you talked to on the phone: wild boar
15.) last thing you bought yourself: ginger beer
DO YOU?:
1.) smoke: no
2.) do drugs: no
3.) drink: ya
4.) sleep with stuffed animals: beside counted?
5.) have a dream that keeps coming back: tt will be scary
7.) believe there is life on other planets: no
8.) read the newspaper: depends on the news
9.) have any gay or lesbian friends: yes
10.) believe in miracles: hope to
11.) consider police a friend or foe: they r jus there
lFEELINGS:
1.) do you have any regrets: ya
2.) i am happiest when: being myself
3.) i feel lonely: now? no
4.) what makes you mad: jsu dun be fucking jerks
OTHER STUFF:
1.) what's the craziest thing you have ever done: i am crazy
2.) any bad habits: everything?
3.) any secret crushes: no
4.) do you think too much: think so
zhen slammed at 00:57
***
Tuesday, October 26
i wonder did u even wondered if there were times when u see some objects or hear some songs and they remind u of ppl or events. i dunno wat u guys out there but certain things remind me of ppl or events.
such as SHE songs, the bowling alley, pool places, sentosa, econs, witty family, lame jokes, k box, reading room etc...
zhen slammed at 21:31
***
Wednesday, October 20
...i am promoted... with the help of mrs leow god help me for the stuff next yr
zhen slammed at 19:24
***
Tuesday, October 19
i seriously think i should get down and think abt wat i really wan in life. or rather maybe not life as it is such a long term word. maybe in the next 5 yrs or so? firstly is to of cos think of whether i can promote or not. had this bit of conversation jus now with my sis. she say she dun mind gg to the same sch or same standard as me. haha maybe it is her whu dun mind cos i mind a whole big deal. maybe it is my pride. it si nto true to say tt u will have no pride left if u get retained. yes u will be viewed in a different light as compared to the other j1s. tt is a fact. but if u view it from a different angle, even if they allow u to promote with u having the bare minimum, will u be able to do well in yr block test, or even yr prelims and A lvls? i dunno. my teacher set my mind thinking of whether do i wan to promote or not. ya u may think it is dumb. whu dun wan to be promoted. but then wats the pt of promoting then failing everythign and in the end not be able to get into a university? it is better to study j1 again and get yr foundation right then go into more indept stuff?
i am nto as great ot as clever as i think i am. come to think of it i was really dumb in the past. maybe i jus had some little bit of smartness or wadever u call it when i was young. then made it into a gd sec sch. come to think of it my mum was right after all. i was in a sec sch where ppl r expected to make it into the top 5 jcs. come on ppl there or at least my batch have like 60-70% of the cohort scoring less than 10 for the O lvls. and i am ya of cos the bottom 30% or so. did i study for my O lvls? frankly i studied lesser for tt than my prelims. wadever no pt crying over spilt milk now. and also no pt crying over spilt milk for my promos.
i think it is during critical times where u can really see ppl coming tog in both mind and spirit. feeling kinda of touched when ppl which u dun really meet up or talk to in sch come and ask u how did u do for yr promos. ok they r concerned but then it is stil nice to feel this way. ok i have started to blabber. shall stop for now. hahahah wadever man. i dun really care.
zhen slammed at 20:58
***
Sunday, October 17
date: 15 oct
time: 10.45pm
listening to: simple plan-welcome to my life
feeling: screwed up, cheated
u dunno wat it's like to be like me.
to be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save u
welcome to my life.
i guess it jus makes me feel like a failure. ya i banked on chem and it failed me. i dunno how am i gg to get promoted. maybe by pure luck tt the sch moderates the results. [15 mins passed] i have been studying chem for the whole time of the supposedly study break but seems like nto much went it. i am studying. but ya the results does not reflect. i screwed up my last org qn. mixed up the 2 thingys. 10 marks. wat the hell am i thinking. ya cos phy din fail to make me fail. expected. maths was ok considering much little i studied. i should have went to study my maths. it is more worth it. so now without any A lvl pass i am in the field of rare ppl whu r facing the threat of retaining. to come to think of it, i promised my mum to get decent results for my promos. haha is this decent results? oh ya can u believe tt gp is actually my best subject. hahaha a big joke. this whole promos is nth but a joke. it is not called promotional exams for a reason. it is a matter of u promote or not. so guess i am in the hands of fate. time to swallow my pride and go begging teachers for marks.
now thinking of it my whole life is kinda of a joke also. for my whole life i am being comapred to everyone. my whole life right from my birth. this does nto only include studies. it comprises of all aspects of life. [shall stop here for now]
date: 16 oct
time:11.53pm
listening to: some korean show on tv
jus came back from watching ballet under the stars. ok not tt bad. soem parts is nice. but i like the music. not bad...must experience everything in life once.
ok i swear u gusy should go to this site.
http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/
freaking funny..ok some extracts from there...
1.
So well ... Yes he made a lot of sense. SO GIRLS! WRITE ABOUT MENSTRUAL BLOOD AND SEXCAPADES! Give photos of used pads! Boys! Write about your masturbating to your sister humping her bf next room (I know someone who does that!!!!! *gasp*)!
2.
Moths appear by the truckloads at my house. They especially like to fly into the bathroom to look at my beautiful naked body when I am bathing! Unfortunately for them, they are also quite stupid.
When they fly in, they sometimes catch me shitting. When I am shitting it stinks and the sight of a girl shitting has no sex appeal at all. Good thing? I am immobile and thus unable to attack them.
3.
think guys, from another real life example I read, should refrain from talking about how much they love masturbating (five times a day sometimes with both hands), jap porn, rubbing their genitals against warm and soft objects etc. SOMEONE SAID HIS SPERM SMELLS LIKE TUNA MAYONNAISE! Up till today I cannot eat that offensive bread spread without a mental picture of that guy wanking off - which I assure you is not very appetitizing. (p/s: To the author of that if you are reading this, THANKS AH!)
conclusion: she is a damn dumb bitch with a SUPER HIGHHHHHH lvl of self confidence....actually pretty interesting to know such ppl. daily entertainment.
ya guess it is all...anyone know where to get whiskey and ya coke i know where to get...i wan to make fresh burben coke...to drink away my worries..hahaha trying not to think of them and ya thinking of how to get marks from mrs leow...
time: 12.45am
zhen slammed at 00:45
***
Sunday, October 10
today i went to eurphoria. it was fun. sh*t this sounds like so pri sch compo. okok shall make this more ermmm interesting????
Pre-Euphoria
i went to play like ermmm 2.5 hrs of pool. hahah u still cannot win me. mUahahHahHahhAHa. happy trying...finally got to meet up with hy. ok busy guy with big schedules so nvm. better than nth even though it was like for a while only. so ya still...mUahAhhahhahAHhHahah try harder!!!!
Euphoria
went to meet beav and char at city hall mrt. ok i was late like ermm 10 mins. then the big big kukufied wild boar came like 40 mins late. crappppp. fine fine i shall not slam the kukufied wild boar since she is the one with the tixs but then stilll kukufied as ever. then we went in went up and up looking for sarah to join her then stood there is some stupid fools in the middle of the crowd. damn packed lah. so damn hard to ask ppl to give us some room to squeeze to the front. hahaha. then the ever so chirpy mcees came on stage- jean danker, carrie(dun think i spelt it correctly), and mary from 933. so ya talked abit of crap as usual. tiger beer gg for 4 bucks a cup which is like not even a can and where the emergency exits and the ever so clean toilets are (they claimed tt it is clean).so first act came on at 6 some dj playing some teachno music for 2 freaking hrs!!!damn dumb. haha din know cheena ppl so anti techno. got thsi grp of cheena girls behind us keep scolding thoese djs up there. hahah wadever...
after 2 hrs of waiting and ear blasting....shinwa came!!!!!!! (the so many exclaimation marks r for sarah). ok they r ermm not bad. singing can lah. dongwan is not bad. hahha. but they sure can dance dance well. seems like the countless hrs spend at perfecting their moves has really woooo-ed those girls in front. hahahha. fine fine. so ya they performed girls screamed guys screamed(?). then sarah her sis and mel left after shinwa performed. beav too as he was nto feeling well. (oh ya forgot to say tt eric from shinwa waved to sarah. so she is like so damn high.)
so left me and char.i was waiting for Shin and Micheal Learn To Rock. so we went to find a place to sit right in front of the big screens. see 4 quite big sized guys singing. All 4 One. they can sing like ermmm damn high. then got this 2 ermm aunties sitting behind us was so damnn happy when all 4 one sang 'i swear'. they were like saying..i have been waiting from 4 pm to now to hear them sing this song. but then come to think of it i think like got alot of ppl queneed and stood for hrs to see their idols sing and perform only. so ok...i shall not comment here. hahaha cos i din ermm kinda of the same thing but..nvm will be revealed in later paragraphs.
so we sat there and watched all 4 one. then decided to leave to get food. went to the clubhouse and eat. then bowled a game. wahh still nto bad considering i haven bolwing like for 6 mths?? hahah. th best part is tt it is all paid by char father by some ways or another. i dunno...so thank u. and ya yr sis v cute. reminds me of my own sis.
went back to euphoria jus in time to watch power pack lena park. a v petite sized korean-american mixed girl with super power vocals. there is nth better than live to experience the full force of singers' talents. hahaha really admire her...and ya also got this grp of guys beside us keep saying tt she is v chio. commenting on her face hair and legs...ok fine wadever...haha
then shin came on. wahhh the drums r damnnnn shuang. can even feel my jeans vibrating. hahah i am serious. eh can really sing man. i mean really scream and sing when the time calls for it. power guy again. heard one night in beijing live. not as high as it is supposed to be in the actual recording but then still v nice. hahaha
was sooooo hyped up to watch MLTR . have been wating to watch them since 530. hahha. then have to leave cos i dun wan to spend my parents money on a cab home so leave to catch the last train home... arghhhhh i want to watch them perform. i wan. i wan. I WAN!!! fine wadever. shall jus be contended with their songs. hahaha so ya turned out tt char din get to watch them too. hahaha. (i will rmb to bring the plus one cd..if i can find it)
After Euphoria
so i came back to bb mrt station and decided to grab smth to eat. went to mac to buy som burgers for me and my sisters. fine. came home parents din even like asked me y am i so late and like the usual questioning which u will get when u r home late despite them knowing where u r. they were so interested in the price of my jeans. ya i told u it cost 30 bucks but i din even get the money from u yet. i bought it with my own money. hello ya so it cost 40 bucks. 10 freaking dollars more. and u make a damn big hoo ha abt it. i din even asked u to pay the exytra 10. so jus shut up will u. u dun like the jeans is none of my business. since when u liked anythign i bought. haha i cant think of any. jus to let u know tt i intend to buy a sandles lookalike from charles and keith which cost 31 bucks. hahah cant wait to see wat kind of hoo ha they will throw. i also need a bag in case u dun rmb. watever. the things i bought with MY own money is forever considered YR money. i will go and earn MY own money which i get by my own sweat and labour.
okok i am ok now. band beat the council in soccer. 12-2...hahahah i knew it. hahahah.
so this is my day. enjoy reading.
zhen slammed at 01:50
***
Friday, October 8
ok guess everyone is blogging cos it is the end of promos. fine it is over, finally. think i can make it to next yr. chem for the A pass then hopefully my other subjs can give me smth like a O or wadever...
so it is time to party!!! ok not tt high lah but still got to enjoy myself. get back all my well deserved sleep and de-stress myself. went to choing pool jus now..damnn shuang...think i improved...i hope. should be lahhh. then walked here walked there and guess due to my bad posture (i have a slight hunch back which i am trying to correct) i got a damn bad back pain now..crapp. then dunno y a headache is coming. shit y all after my promos...crappp. guess it is jsu the lack of slp lah.
so ya due to the conversation with kev jus now...i really wan to go back-packing after my As!!!! i really wan. my ultimate wish is to go backpacking in europe. but for now i will jus settle for aust first. so anybody wan to go also??? the more the merrier mahhhh. i shall work towards my dream by doing these steps...
1. get a job over this dec hols and earn money and cos save it...ermmm half of it?? we shall see. so anyone have lobangs must tell me!!!
2. prove to my mum tt i am capable of looking after myself. be independent and responible in the things which i have to do eg my room has to be ermm tidy to a decent extend, and cos my studies also
3. try to save money from now till end of next yr
4. try to psycho my mum to the idea tt this is wat i wan
5. intro my mum to those ppl whu r gg to backpack with me eg kev and make sure she trusts them
6. build up my stamina?
i need to extend the range of choices of clothes which i have in my cupboard!!! ok u ppl out there may think "hai yo girls har, got so much clothes liao and still complain nto enough...." let me clarify smth here...my cupboard is pathetic!!! it is not even ermm 1/4 filled with clothes....i mean it!!!
hahaha shall stop now...
zhen slammed at 01:46
***
Wednesday, October 6
help help help help help help help help help help
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help help help help help help
hahah i dunno y suddenly the world 'help' seems to be the wrong spelling.....
i am jus venting my ermmm forget it
zhen slammed at 01:18
***
Tuesday, October 5
to all girls: read this.
to all guys: learn.
So what am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I be quiet just because I'm a woman
Call me a bitch cos I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled
When a female fires back
Suddenly big talker don't know how to act
So he does what any little boy will do
Making up a few false rumors or two
That for sure is not a man to me
Slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave them proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Never can, never will
So what am I not supposed to say what I'm saying
Are you offended by the message I'm bringing
Call me whatever cos your words don't mean a thing
Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing
If you look back in history
It's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore
I don't understand why it's okay
The guy can get away with it & the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
Start a new beginning for us everybody sing
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
What do we do girls
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
[Lil' Kim:]
Check it - Here's something I just can't understand
If the guy have three girls then he's the man
He can either give us some head, sex her off
If the girl do the same, then she's a whore
But the table's about to turn
I'll bet my fame on it
Cats take my ideas and put their name on it
It's alright though, you can't hold me down
I got to keep on movin
To all my girls with a man who be tryin to mack
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack
And Lil' Kim and Christina Aguilera got your back
But you're just a little boy
Think you're so cute, so coy
You must talk so big
To make up for smaller things
So you're just a little boy
All you'll do is annoy
You must talk so big
To make up for smaller things
This is for my girls...
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls
Shout louder
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls
Spread the word, can't hold us down
zhen slammed at 01:11
***
Monday, October 4
i guess i finally can blog. haha suddenly have lost all the urge to blog also. dunno wat to blog also. ok as normal i shall jus type wadever tt comes to my mind...
1. to all those ppl whu went MIA in this period of time, u better appear after the papers and start catching up on gossips. (not as if alot of stuff happened too..wahahah!!!)
2. i cannot think of anythign else
3. ya to all those having papers soon...
ALL THE BEST
4. .jpg)
we can do it no matter wat stands in the way
5. i wan to drink after my promos..anyone got place and got the face old enough to go and buy? any gd drinks to recommend?
6. the eiffel tower, everythign in europe,
i will be there someday
i will make sure of tt
7. so ya abt 1.33333 days left to my chem maths and phy paper. fine i shall not complain.
wadever.....
zhen slammed at 22:22
***
Friday, October 1
i am currently in sch now trying to do some last minute studying. i guess it is not really working. was in the room in the reading room for like close to 2 hrs. feel so damn unproductive. almost like nth could get into my stupid peasized brain of mine. haha i am really a useless fool keep wasting time these 3 days where u r supposed to be either having consultation with teachers in sch or mugging yr hearts out at home. sorry guys i did none of them. the blasted organic chem is really damn sucky. got to memorise so many equations and reactions within like 5 days. ya i have 5 days more to study my 3 pathetic subjects.
updates....
chem
organic chem: think i roughly know intro, alkanes and hopefully alkenes. i dunno how much of arene and alkyl halides stayed in my brain. as for hydroyl..haha i haven touched it yet. si=o tt is 50% of my chem paper
physical chem: i have done the first few chaps jus now now at periodicity which beavan took away to study. so i got ya periodicity, chem bonding which i din even study for common test and i think i will revise thur my energetics again. come to think of it, this is the other half lump of my chem paper. guess i better buck up.
maths
ok i confessed i have touched maths be4. i was confident abt it then. rmb the keyword here..."then" now or rather yest was tryign to do differentiation...wahh i am so dead for it. and ya whu wan to teach me ap and gp? haha. guess my level of confidence is also morekor less gone for maths.
phy
i haven touched it yet. come on i really suck at phy. yaya i will still flip thur it be4 the exam. hah maybe start study on wed night? haha i really dunno. i really dunno
i guess these 3 to 4 days at hoem has really taught me smth abt myself. i am a person wil v low self determination. i take so damn long to actually start working and by the tiem i have actually sat down at my tale to study i am already tired and went off to lala land.
i am such a useless bum right? i think so. i dunno wat i have 'studied' these 3 days is enough for me to pass or promoted to j2 or not. i am feeling bad and guilty now. i promised my mum to get decent results. haha and here i am now thinking of jus passing. ya pass 1 A and 1 AO and hopefully i will be promoted on probation or have to see the HODs. wadever lah. i am sorry tt u got such a person as yr daughter.
ya i agree with beavan tt comign online and chatting with frens really can help u destress. smth it really works. go there and jus let go. ya i mean frens ARE supposed to console u and be there for u in times of needs. but even though if their efforts and words dun coem from the hearts, i will still rmb them. haha. so ya thanks to kevin, cindy and beavan.
i wan to get a job!!! i wan a job after the exams and during the holidays. ya of cos it is for the money. money is one of the main things which makes the world go round isnt? i wan the money for much better uses...anyone interested in backpacking aust after yr As? i dunno when u guys r gg into ns but wadever..
so all the best
zhen slammed at 14:11
***
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